By Jennifer Sapp, MSG, MSW, LCSW-C
Caring for an aging loved one is a journey—deeply meaningful, often challenging, and always personal. Whether you’re stepping into this role gradually or facing a sudden shift in responsibility, it’s important to remember that caregiving is not a sprint. It’s a marathon.
Like any long journey, it requires pacing, preparation, and support. Giving everything of yourself without pause may feel like the right thing to do, but over time, it can leave you depleted—physically, emotionally, and mentally. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Caring for yourself is not selfish. It’s essential.
Here are a few suggestions to support you in being the loving, resilient caregiver you already are:
Remember that you are human and that caregiving is hard work
Be kind to yourself and remember that you are not expected to be everything to everyone. Know that some days will be easier than others, and sometimes you might get frustrated or overwhelmed. This is normal. Sometimes you need a break. This is normal. Sometimes you need help. This is normal.
However, recognize when you might be getting burned out. Know the signs, such as irritability, disrupted sleep, depression, anxiety, withdrawal from others, changes in weight, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, and feelings of helplessness. Seek support such as a friend, a support group, or a counselor.
Find time for breaks and plan ahead
We understand this is easier said than done, but you can begin by giving yourself permission to take time for yourself, knowing that this is what will help you manage in the long run.
To get started, consider your loved one’s routine. The person you are supporting may nap each day and so you might have a window of time. While there are always tasks to be done for your loved one, it’s important to carve out some of this time for you. Or maybe you’re caring for someone who requires monitoring all day. Try taking even a few minutes throughout the day for a cup of coffee, to listen to music, to call a friend, or read while your loved one is engaged in an activity. Make a point to acknowledge to yourself that you are taking a break and try to focus on something other than caregiving during that time so that you really absorb the feeling of rest.
In some cases, a longer respite stay might be an option. Some assisted living facilities offer short-term stays and can provide an extended break for the caregiver.
Learn to say “No”
It’s likely that as a caregiver, you have always been someone who is giving of your time and energy. Setting limits and creating boundaries is important in our daily lives, but particularly as a caregiver. This is a good time to reassess and identify what is most important for you and your loved one. One of the best things you can do for your mental health is establish your priorities and limitations and learn to say “no”.
Learn to say “Yes” to help
People want to support you but don’t always know how. Have a list of things that might be helpful and when someone offers to help, let them know how they can. Some tasks are not right for everyone, so give some thought to who and how someone can help.
For example, a neighbor can stop by and check on a loved one while you are out, or an adult child might be able to set aside time to provide coverage so you can get a break or visit a friend, or a hired caregiver can run an errand or provide transportation, or a friend who shares an activity of interest with your loved one can accompany him or her in an activity while you do something for yourself.
Recognize that caregiving comes with difficult decisions
There will be multiple decisions that you will face as a caregiver, many of which will be challenging, or met with resistance. These might include decisions about medical treatments, or bringing caregivers into the home, or possibly placing your loved one in a facility. Your loved one would not want you to feel guilty for having to make these decisions but recognize that they may not understand the complexity of the decisions you’re facing. You may need guidance as you confront these challenges. Consult with a medical professional, another caregiver, or a trusted friend to help evaluate and make informed decisions. Tough decisions come with the territory, but this can help to ease your mind as you work through these challenges.
Educate yourself about caregiving and care services
There is a lot to know about being a caregiver. The more you can educate yourself about the health challenges that your loved one faces, and about the types of services in the community that can support you, the easier you will navigate this journey. Understand that the person you care for will likely require increased assistance as time goes on. Learn about the disease and its progression. Inquire with your doctor and other professionals about support and services in your community and start making connections early. There are many organizations that can be helpful, such as the Alzheimer’s Association, Parkinson’s Foundation, American Cancer Society, Department of Aging, etc.
Consider working with a Care Manager. This professional service provides consultations, assessments, and care plans to help you and your loved one navigate the health care journey. Care Managers are aging experts who partner with you to provide personalized assistance, support, education, guidance and counseling throughout the full spectrum of care.
Partnering with JCS for Guidance and Support
Jewish Community Services (JCS) is here to help you navigate the challenges of caregiving and aging. Our Aging and Caregiving Services offer expert guidance, personalized care planning, emotional support, and access to helpful community resources for both caregivers and their loved ones.
Caregiving is an act of love, resilience, and commitment, but it is also one of life’s greatest challenges. You don’t have to do it alone. By taking care of yourself, accepting support, and staying informed, you can sustain your caregiving journey with compassion and strength. And remember, JCS is here to help you navigate the road ahead, offering the resources, expertise, and care you need to support both your loved one and yourself.
Jennifer Sapp, MSG, MSW, LCSW-C is Director of Aging Services at JCS.
Jewish Community Services (JCS) provides programs and services for people of all ages and backgrounds, helping them achieve their goals, enhance their well-being, and maximize their independence. To learn more, visit jcsbalt.org or 410-466-9200.
