by Susan Kurlander, M.Ed.

Several recent deaths by suicide have reminded our community of the devastating toll mental health challenges can take on our young people. When tragedies occur, people often seek immediate answers, sometimes turning to the assumption that bullying must have played a role. While everyone’s experience is unique, the statistics surrounding bullying are deeply concerning.

The numbers paint a clear picture: one in five students reports being bullied (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). Bullying often begins as early as elementary school, with some studies showing that it can start even younger. To better understand the scope of the issue, here’s what the research reveals:

Students who are both targets of bullying and engage in bullying behavior are at greater risk for both mental health and behavior problems than students who only bully or are only bullied. (Centers for Disease Control, 2019)

Students who experience bullying are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower academic achievement, and dropping out of school. (Centers for Disease Control, 2019)

Approximately 46% of students ages 12-18 who were bullied during the school year notified an adult at school about the bullying. Facts About Bullying | StopBullying.gov

How can we help to recognize the effects of bullying and prevent a young person, or someone of any age, from becoming a victim of bullying?

• Pay attention and be aware of changes in our loved one’s behavior, including difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite, attitude and demeanor, isolation, etc.
• Monitor and set boundaries for the use of technical devices. If possible, have those devices in an open space where use is visible.
• Foster open communication with our loved ones and encourage them to appreciate who they are and the gifts they’ve been given. Build their self-esteem and self-confidence. Help them find their “spark.”
• Be aware of your child’s school’s policy on bullying, and if it doesn’t include a zero-tolerance approach, consider having a conversation with the administration to address your concerns.
• Model healthy coping skills by sharing your experiences managing difficult emotions.
• Check in with our loved ones to see how they are feeling. If finding the words is too difficult, pictures can help (a chart of emojis on the refrigerator is a wonderful resource for all ages).
• Encourage creative outlets by providing constructive ways for young people to identify their feelings and learn how to manage the more challenging ones through art, music, exercise, journals, etc.
• Use teachable moments when young people are confused, conflicted, or concerned so they understand that these feelings are normal and don’t need to be hidden or make us feel inferior to anyone else.

Guide loved ones to talk with someone they trust about what they are experiencing.  We often hear, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Never has that phrase been more meaningful than now when bullying is taking its toll on far too many of our most vulnerable population.

JCS professional health educators provide interactive programs to raise awareness about bullying prevention and other important topics while helping children, teens, and young adults develop skills to build resilience, improve mental well-being, and make healthy decisions. These programs are available for all age groups, from preschool through college and beyond, and also include options for adults, parents, grandparents, educators, and other professionals. To learn more, click here. 

Susan Kurlander, M.Ed., is a Behavioral Health & Wellness Educator at Jewish Community Services.

Jewish Community Services (JCS) provides programs and services for people of all ages and backgrounds, helping them achieve their goals, enhance their wellbeing, and maximize their independence. To learn more, visit jcsbalt.org or call 410-466-9200.